Sunday, May 10, 2015

Mother's Day is Sometimes Hard

Just as warning, this is going to be a very personal post. I haven't posted in well over a year, but I really wanted to write this down. If you aren't interested then just ignore this.

Today is Mother's Day so Happy Mother's Day to my wonderful mom! Also, happy Mother's Day to my mother-in-law, grandma, aunts, mentors, etc. who have mothered me in some way over the last nearly 29 years. While Lee and I know that we're doing what we've been called to do, it is sometimes very hard to be over 500 miles away from loved ones.

As much as I love the recognition of the hard work and sacrifice on Mother's Day I also recognize that it can be very hard for many people. I think of my mom, who lost her mother 20 years ago. I was blessed to know Nana for 9 years, and I miss her deeply, but I can't even begin to imagine how my mom feels. My mother-in-law has experienced the same loss so I pray a special blessing on all those who have lost their moms, at any point in their life.

Mother's Day can also be hard on those who have lost a child or experienced the inability/difficulty of having a child. This is where my story begins. I was supposed to have my first ultrasound this past Friday. Instead, early this past week I took another home pregnancy test somewhat hoping, for yet dreading, the negative sign. Two weeks ago I was pregnant. Now I'm not. Some might say I was "barely" pregnant, whatever that means. Something they call chemical pregnancy. It was also described to me as the pregnancy not being "viable." They wouldn't say the word, but it was an early miscarriage (about 5-6 weeks). I never got to see the baby on an ultrasound. I never got to hear the heartbeat. What I did get to experience was the joy in having the pregnancy test be positive and in telling my husband. I also experienced the heartbreak when everything started going wrong, and then almost two weeks later when I got the phone-call telling me it was over. I experienced days and days of heavy bleeding. I experienced pain from intense cramps and being stuck with a needle 5 times as they drew blood for tests. I experienced sadness when my hCG levels barely increased, then timid excitement when they doubled, then doubled again, and finally devastation when they dropped dramatically. Life has been a roller coaster for the last 4 weeks for sure.

I've learned more over the last few weeks about miscarriages. I learned things like chemical pregnancies are actually pretty common (most happen before a missed period so without an early pregnancy test you might never know). I learned that miscarriages themselves are more common than most people think. Most of all I learned that it hurts so very deeply. There is a hole in your heart. And because it hurts and because it is so very personal people don't want to talk about it. A friend linked this article on Facebook. She just went through a miscarriage and was much further along than me and has had more complications (she's back in the hospital after emergency surgery). I don't agree with everything the article says but it does present some common misconceptions about miscarriage and the struggle of going through it while trying to suffer silently. Well I don't suffer silently very well so I'm super thankful for those who have encouraged and prayed for Lee and I over the last month.

I knew today would be hard. We had hoped to celebrate impending parenthood, but instead I'm left crying in church as mothers are recognized and I'm left sitting. I don't say all of this to make anyone feel bad. I don't think we shouldn't recognize mothers because I'm not one yet. I think it's just as important to rejoice as friends and family rejoice in the exciting role of motherhood in the same way that they feel sorrow as I do for my dream to be delayed. Lee has been amazing through this difficult journey. The first day I started bleeding I came home in tears. Lee prayed for me (because the only thing I had been able to pray for myself was "please no" over and over again). The thing he consistently told me, and which I desperately needed to hear was that he loved me, and that God loved me even more. When I couldn't understand why this was happening he told me he didn't either but God loved us. When I asked him some very tough questions he told me God loved us and He loved our baby. And I know it to be true. Not because I always feel it, but because He says He does and because He has shown it over and over again. He has shown me through the love of friends and family. He has shown me through His provision in so many areas of my life. He has shown me through His discipline. And most of all He has shown me by sending His son to die a horrific death on the cross to save me from my sin.

So if possible, call your mom and tell her how much you love her. If your mom is gone, thank God for the time you had with her. If you're estranged from your mom, ask God to fix your relationship, and thank Him for the mother-figures He's blessed you with. If you have children, tell them what a blessing they are. If you've lost children (from conception to adulthood) accept God's healing and thank Him for those you can mentor. If you've struggled with the inability to have children understand that God sees your pain. If you know anyone with any of these struggles, give them a big hug! Above all, know that God loves you and desires a relationship with you.

Thank you for letting me get this out there. With God's grace and the love of friends and family Lee and I are healing. We look forward to trying again soon, and we trust in God the whole way. We sang the following song in church this morning and it was just what I needed to hear/sing. Happy Mother's Day!

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

FREE Beth Moore Books

Well, I hope everyone had a great Christmas and a good New Year so far. I don't really make resolutions because I have a difficult time keeping them. I do often think about what I'd like to do different. One of those things is I would like to read more non-fiction. If you're like me (or you'd just like to read more in general) Beth Moore has several of her eBooks for free! I've only read Beth Moore's Bible Studies so I thought I'd check these out. According to her website these will be free until January 10, but it's always a good idea to double check and make sure the price is actually $0.00. Remember, these are eBooks so you'll need some sort of eReader to read them. It seems as though different sites are offering the books free at different times so you will just have to check them out. I've linked to the ones I found free on Amazon, but I saw others as iBooks and Nook books. Enjoy!


 



Kacie Woodmansee is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com
 

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Christmas Time is Here

Well, it's definitely been a while since I posted, but I'm putting off grading so I figured there was no time like the present to give a little update.

I'm almost halfway through my second year of teaching. I'm teaching Advanced Algebra 2, Precalculus, and ACT Math Prep this year. Teaching 3 classes, taking classes at UofL and going through the hassle that is KTIP has made this semester challenging to say the least. I can proudly say that I'm still sane and I have 3 days until Christmas break! Lee successfully finished this semester at Southern, also finished the apprenticeship program at our church and has been working like crazy at Walgreens. He'll be utilizing part of his break to get ahead on reading for a class on Revelation next semester. We're both enjoying working with the college group at church (leading community groups and Lee is the "director" of the BFG (Sunday School)). We're excited to see what God will bring us in the new year.

I've already had two, somewhat pathetic, snow days so far. We have built in make-up days so at least (as of right now) I won't have to go any later into June. There's still plenty of winter left though. Lee and I used one of those days to do our Christmas decorating. And yes, Lee actually helped. I think he mostly liked helping make cookies so he could eat the icing. Here's some pictures of our productive day! I hope everyone else stayed safe in the winter weather too!


Wednesday, July 17, 2013

A Pinterest Night

Last week I had a couple of girls over for a Pinterest night. The point was to try out new recipes and crafts found on the website. Of course, one doesn't have to have a Pinterest account to have such a shindig but anyone who has used it could attest to the convenience of having all those ideas in one place.

For my new recipe I tried these Mini Tacos which turned out pretty well. I had the hardest time finding wonton wrappers. We finally found some dumpling wrappers at a tiny Asian grocery store and they were with the frozen foods. Maybe that's where they are in other grocery stores too? I noticed in the comments that some people mentioned just using Tostitos Scoops and that could work too, but I would think they'd almost be a little too mini. I also made some salsa to add on top (while wishing I had some fresh produce from my parents' garden). I didn't take a picture but here's what they would look like (my wrappers looked a bit thicker I think and they were round).

Perfect for football season!!! Mini tacos:  Won ton wrappers in muffin tins. Fill with taco seasoned ground meat, cheese & bake for 8 minutes at 350.  Top with favorite taco toppings!
For my craft I made these fun frames. Mine are obviously a little different. The barnyard frames were a little too expensive for my blood, and the tip of "dissolving" steel wool in water and vinegar to act as a stain didn't seem to work for me so I just left them as they were. I also used cardboard instead of metal backing and just glued everything on with a small clothespin to be able to easily change out pictures. I think they turned out pretty well. They're not on the wall yet because the frames didn't have a way to hang them. Also the pictures are just stand-ins because we're hoping to get pictures made for our anniversary.

Original
My Version
Have you tried any fun ideas from Pinterest lately?                                       

Friday, June 7, 2013

Free Audiobooks

So I've officially "survived" my first year of teaching. I'm going to take some time to reflect on it and hopefully post back here soon. However, since I've officially started my summer "break" I thought I'd share something that may make those summer trips a little easier. I'm a fan of audio books for long trips (like say a 9 hour drive to Louisville to visit us...anyone?) Here's a few free ones to get you started.


The Explicit Gospel
Matt Chandler's The Explicit Gospel. Our college group was reading this around the time we were leaving last year but I never got a chance to read it.









Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen 
The other is one of my favorite stories of all times. Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. I'll take this book in whatever format I can get. For this one you'll need to use the coupon code PRIDEFREE.








These are both from separate websites and you'd have to set up an account to download but I didn't have to enter any credit card information for either so that's nice. To download into iTunes I selected the M4B format and saved it so it opened up in my audiobooks section in iTunes. Maybe these will make any summer travel you have to do a little better. Enjoy!

I found both of these on Money Saving Mom.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

To the Awesome Moms

To all the awesome moms out there. Gotta love some Kid President.

Sunday, March 31, 2013

Dry Bones

Happy Easter everyone! I have to be honest, Easter kind of snuck up on me this year. I'm ashamed to say I think I was so busy focusing on the start of Spring Break that I didn't spend much time reflecting on one of the most important Christian holidays.
Lee and I worked in the nursery for the first service this morning. I guess you could say I got my baby fix. During the service, our pastor preached on an interesting passage for Easter. Ezekiel 37:1-14.

[1] The hand of the LORD was upon me, and He brought me out by the Spirit of the LORD and set me down in the middle of the valley; and it was full of bones. [2] He caused me to pass among them round about, and behold, there were very many on the surface of the valley; and lo, they were very dry. [3] He said to me, "Son of man, can these bones live?" And I answered, "O Lord GOD, You know." [4] Again He said to me, "Prophesy over these bones and say to them, 'O dry bones, hear the word of the LORD.' [5] "Thus says the Lord GOD to these bones, 'Behold, I will cause breath to enter you that you may come to life. [6] 'I will put sinews on you, make flesh grow back on you, cover you with skin and put breath in you that you may come alive; and you will know that I am the LORD.'" [7] So I prophesied as I was commanded; and as I prophesied, there was a noise, and behold, a rattling; and the bones came together, bone to its bone. [8] And I looked, and behold, sinews were on them, and flesh grew and skin covered them; but there was no breath in them. [9] Then He said to me, "Prophesy to the breath, prophesy, son of man, and say to the breath, 'Thus says the Lord GOD, "Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe on these slain, that they come to life."'" [10] So I prophesied as He commanded me, and the breath came into them, and they came to life and stood on their feet, an exceedingly great army. [11] Then He said to me, "Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel; behold, they say, 'Our bones are dried up and our hope has perished. We are completely cut off.' [12] "Therefore prophesy and say to them, 'Thus says the Lord GOD, "Behold, I will open your graves and cause you to come up out of your graves, My people; and I will bring you into the land of Israel. [13] "Then you will know that I am the LORD, when I have opened your graves and caused you to come up out of your graves, My people. [14] "I will put My Spirit within you and you will come to life, and I will place you on your own land. Then you will know that I, the LORD, have spoken and done it," declares the LORD.'" - Eze 37:1-14 NASB


It was interesting to look at the connection between the resurrection of Christ and the resurrection of his people. We were dead in our sin, without hope. Christ died and was resurrected so we could have life. He breathed life into us. Thanks be to God for the story of John 3:16.

This passage made me think of this song which we sing in church often.