Datebox Review (And Other Ways to Date Your Spouse at Home)

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So, I write this post not because I have it all figured out, but because I need help. (It took us an entire week to finally have our Valentine's Day date). We all know that it's important to "date your spouse." I think we also all know that there are some seasons where this is harder than others. Like when you have three small kids at home. Nevertheless, my word for this year is "intentional," and one of the ways I want to be more intentional is by building up my relationship with Lee. One of my goals is to take a short trip with just Lee and I, and I think we'll be able to pull that off. But in the meantime, what are ways we can strengthen our relationship now? Below are some of the things we do to go on "dates" at home and some of the things we'd like to do.

Datebox:
I've been wanting to try the Datebox subscription service for a few months now because I like the idea of doing creative stuff together at home. Normally when we're at home we end up watching a movie or tv show. While this is okay on occasion, I don't think it does much to really bring us closer together. I was hoping this would be a way to change things up a bit.
What was in the box - In our box we got items to make puppy chow, a You+Me book and writing utensils to fill it out (pens, colored pencils and invisible ink pen), as well as a link to a Spotify playlist.

Our thoughts - Lee thought he didn't like puppy chow. It turns out he was thinking of white trash. He still didn't eat a lot of it, but he did help me make it. I honestly think I would have liked something a bit more complex to make. Something we could have worked together more on. As for the book, we enjoyed it a lot more than we thought we would. Some of the pages were funny and fun to talk about like inside jokes we share, what our team name and mascot would be, etc. Some were more serious such as what our ideal life would look like, and when we felt closest to each other. And there were some we couldn't come up with good answers to and decided we'd "come back to them later." I will admit to you that I had to let go of some of my perfectionism because Lee's handwriting is, well, like most guys' and his drawing skills are slightly better than Callie's. But we both got to be involved and most importantly, it got us really talking. 
The verdict - I enjoyed this box, but the problem I have is deciding whether or not it was worth the price. The puppy chow doesn't require crazy ingredients so I could have bought them in normal sizes and saved money. I already have pens and colored pencils. The book was unique, and it's not something I probably would have spent money on otherwise so that (and the invisible ink pen of course) were the most worthwhile investments. I plan on getting another box next month to see if this is something we'd like to continue. If nothing else, it at least got us to be intentional about how we spent our time...and we didn't have to pay for a babysitter. There are other date kit boxes out there as well so that's something we may try out in the future. (P.S. If you want to try out Datebox for yourself, click here and you can get $10 off your first box!)

Dating Divas:
The Dating Divas site has a ton of great resources that they've compiled from around the interwebs. A lot of them are totally free! Some are good for dating, engaged or married couples, and others I would definitely recommend for married couples only. I made Lee play the Newlywed Game with me the other night, and even though he claims he won, I think we're both winners when we get to spend quality time together and learn new things about each other even after eight years!

"Couch Time":
I heard this idea from a God Centered Mom podcast. She and her husband are intentional to sit on the couch together after the kids are in bed for at least 10 minutes every night with no distractions and just talk. Lee and I tried to do this, but we're not as consistent as we should be. The neat part about it is that often times, 10 minutes turns into 30 or 60 which is way better than watching tv or just looking at our phones at opposite ends of the couch.

Tips:
All of these tips are centered around spending time together. Dates. But we know dating involves more than that. Holding hands, writing love notes (or texts), serving each other, etc. All of these are important too. If you're struggling to find time, even at home, to date your spouse, then here are some tips. I'm making notes of these myself.

• Put date night on the calendar, even if it's at home. 
• Turn off your phones!
• Take turns planning.
• On occasion, take the time to get ready. Since some women, ahem, take more time to get ready this may mean husbands need to make sure they have that time by cleaning up the house, taking care of the kids, etc.
• If you want to go out and finding a babysitter can get expensive, offer taking turns babysitting with another family.

So, what do you do to continue dating your spouse? Have you tried Datebox or another subscription service? Use another resource? Let me know, seriously, because we can use all the help we can get!

More resources on the importance of dating your spouse:

• Date Your Wife: Six Suggestions for Leading with Love (desiringGod)
• Dating Your Spouse (Focus on the Family)
• How a Strong Marriage Empowers You to be Strong Parents (ERLC podcast)